My husband and I are enjoying a 4-day weekend and diving into some garden projects. Yesterday we did some much needed trimming on our Chestnut tree.
This tree sits just outside our door. It offers canopy for our patio and is a playground for many different animals. Since we moved in, 12 years ago, we have marveled at how this tree has supported us in attuning to our own natural rhythms and cycles and how it so often mirrors what is unfolding in our own lives . . . and yesterday’s trimming was no exception.
We have been putting off the trimming of this tree for years because we really liked the privacy it offered our yard . . . and in many ways this canopy felt like a level of sacred protection for our space.
But in the process of really embracing this privacy and protection we overlooked how one of the primary branches was growing into the trunk of the tree. When we realized this, we knew we needed to take action. There was no other option . . . for the well-being of the tree, this branch needed to be removed.
The branch was cut, and as soon as it fell we saw an instant hole in the trees canopy.
It was so painful to witness on many levels.
The tree felt naked. Its trunk was exposed. Our sacred space for gathering and reflection was exposed. The east windows of our home were exposed. Everything felt open and raw and seen. I was so uncomfortable with this feeling. I was uncomfortable with being fully seen.
It’s funny to me to say that because sharing myself, who I am, what I do, etc. is something that from an outward perspective likely seems natural or easy for me. But it is not. It is not always comfortable, and often it is quite scary. It has taken years of conscious inner work, healing, and strengthening to feel the level of comfort that I feel. But I am committed to this path. I am committed to seeing my own soul. I am committed to knowing it, to loving it, to listening to it, to being present with it . . . naked, raw, exposed.
My first reaction yesterday was to figure out how this tree could eventually fill in the hole. How it could grow new clothing and once again cover its naked trunk. But I knew its time to be covered had passed . . . just as I knew my time to be covered has passed.
Being fully seen by ourselves is scary. We worry about what we may find. We worry that we are unloveable. We worry that we are unworthy. We worry that we are not enough. We worry about how we may hurt another. And we worry how, in our nakedness, we may be hurt by the judgement or blindness of others.
Those untruths are the greatest lies we not only tell ourselves, but believe.
In letting go of Journey Jewels, this nakedness is something that I felt. Letting it go felt like removing the largest branch in the canopy of protection around my soul. I immediately wanted to put it back on, to once again be protected by this safe and familiar way of sharing myself with the world. But it wasn’t there. And while I knew it needed to go I was uncomfortable.
This new nakedness is unfamiliar. It is inviting me to look deeper within, to see a new level of depth within myself. It is inviting me to let go of all that no longer matches or nourishes me in order to fully thrive, to stand strong within my own center. To stand unswayed by the will, judgement, or desires of another. To stand wholly in the beauty, truth, and power of who I am.
I feel this is something that many of us are encountering right now . . . especially as Mercury moved retrograde on Monday. I personally felt an intense fog and the desire to cover back up . . . I felt a need for protection. Many old things surfaced giving me the opportunity to lovingly let them go while also lovingly calling my energy back to center.
So if this is something that you too have been feeling, here is what I have been doing to be comfortable being seen and at the same time feeling protected:
1. Your greatest protection is to do your inner work. This phrase showed up in my world when I went to a class called ‘Walking with Protection.’ Yep, I was at the class to learn how to protect myself only to discover that what I really needed to do was more inner work . . . and inner work is exactly what we did for a very intense six days. But as I am sure you know inner work does not begin and end at a workshop . . . it is ongoing.
So, when something shows up for us, we have an opportunity to dive in and do that inner work. This is definitely not a time to hide behind phrases like “Molly feels the same way” or “Everybody is feeling this right now”or “It feels like a collective energy”. Sure, they may feel the same way, it may be a collective energy, but this is about you.
Every story that supports what you are feeling is showing up to collude with your story and give your ego an out from doing the deeper work. These outwardly appearing supportive stories are giving you an opportunity to choose whether or not you are ready to deal with this head on or hide in a place of victimhood. Let yourself pause, drop in, and summon the courage to do the deeper work. It will be absolutely worth it every time!
2. Lovingly call back your energy. All of it. We unconsciously connect into other people all the time . . . and they unconsciously connect with us. It happens. We see something yummy and we want to be a part of it. Or perhaps someone is supporting us in our growth. Or perhaps we have been the support system. 99% of the time it is unconscious and there is no intent to harm. But when we are hooked into someone else’s energy we can not be fully present with our own.
People often call this ‘cutting the cords’ and that is a great phrase for this as well.
I prefer to look at this as lovingly calling back your energy because when we approach it with love and compassion it opens space for true healing and transformation. As you lovingly call back your energy also lovingly send back any energy that has hooked into you. Be compassionate with both yourself (and any emotions that may emerge) and with the other person.
This is where many different emotions may emerge. Be present with them. Do not judge them. Love them. Listen to them. Thank them for showing you this gaping hole and giving you the opportunity to come back into your center.
3. Ground, get really rooted. Reconnect with your core intention and desire right now. This piece, and everything that just came up, is likely something that needs to be loved in order for you to fulfill your intention. As you root into who you are and your true intention you reaffirm what you stand for, you reaffirm your sacred path and you take back your power.
4. Connect with your crystal allies. You will want to call in, and work with, the crystals and stones that support you in staying deeply rooted and grounded in your intention and your knowing of yourself. I actually think of these as our sacred essence stones. I feel like each one of us has a stone that makes us feel most empowered and aligned with who we truly are. These are the stones that when we put them on or carry them with us, we feel natural.
Right now I have 3 go-to stones . . . stones that I feel really reflect me: Labradorite, Moonstone, and Aquamarine.
I invite you to go to your treasure trove and pull out the piece that makes you feel most alive and safe and aligned with you.
This week I send my love to you.
I invite you to open your heart to your own nakedness.
To be present with yourself . . . naked, raw, and exposed.
I invite you to wholly see you! To love you. To love all that you see and hear and discover . . . because you are magnificent!
I celebrate you, my sacred friend!
What a beautiful post Lori ! I have had an experience recently where a crystal – a Lapis Lazuli pendent (not a big one either!), protected me in a very subtle way that altered a path I was on. Unless I was ‘tuned in’ I probably would not have noticed the subtle change as being supported/orchestrated by the Lapis.
And really like your closing/sign off too!!!
Absolutely Beautiful Jan! . . . Thank you so much for your sacred sharing!
So happy you enjoyed this message!
Thank you for this post, it has showed me what it is I have been feeling these past few weeks since deciding to stop doing what I thought I was meant to be doing and started to do what I have known I should do but ignored for many years.
To move from something comfy to something more challenging yet rewarding is like walking around naked for all to see.
Thank you, Leesa! Congratulations on the leap you have taken . . . sounds exciting & wonderful! <3
Thank you for sharing (it made me teary, in all the good ways!)! I’ve needed a bit of inspiration this weekend, so of course it’s divine timing. <3 to you!
Love how magically Divine timing works! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post <3
As usual, so spot on. Thanks for sharing your story so deeply. You have an amazing way with words and capturing the essence of what is going on energetically.
Thank you, Monica! <3